Deaf Robbery Jam
Posted on May 30, 2008
Filed Under News, Police Blotters | By Lucas Kavner
Somehow more unnerving than the scene in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd sells Harry’s dead, headless parakeet to the sad, blind boy in the wheelchair, the Washington Post reports that deaf students at Gallaudet University in D.C have been the subject of 8 home break-ins in the past two weeks. In this particular area of D.C, near Capitol Hill, burglaries are up 58%. Laptops, cellphones and cameras have been stolen and, “in one incident, thieves made off with a midnight snack from the refrigerator.” Police said that one of the break-ins was made easier for the robbers because “the top bolt of [one of the victim’s] front doors was left unlocked.” Indeed. It’s also probably because the victim couldn’t hear anything. You know… because she’s deaf.
Spokesman for the Burglar’s Union, Johnny “Panther” Perkins, had this to share with us:
“This is a low blow for career burglars everywhere. I mean…the Union’s mission is to rob only the very rich or, at the very least, the kind-of-rich. If this continues, whoever is responsible will be banned from the union and I will personally break their knees and steal their laptop computers.”
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4 Responses to “Deaf Robbery Jam”
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is there really a burglar’s union?!?
Obvs.
as discussed prior, the headline here should be Deaf Robbery Jam.
Sold