The Color of Love

Posted on March 8, 2010
Filed Under Culture, Media | By Ashley Singh

reggiebushandkimkardashianpic.jpgI’m not one to read a lot of magazines, but the ones I do read are Glamour, Allure, Marie Claire, and the occasional Essence. I really like those magazines because those are the ones that tend to pay particular attention to their readers. I was reading the March issue of Essence this weekend when I stumbled across an article titled, “If I Were Your Woman,” by blogger Jamilah Lemieux. This article was written in response to the overflow of comments Essence received regarding its February 2010 cover featuring football phenom Reggie Bush. The only reason that people were so angry about this cover is that he’s dating Kim Kardashian, a woman who is not Black. There were a number of negative comments featured about their cover: one person commented that Essence should “stop promoting Black men who do not support Black women!” while another person commented that “…In a society and world that ignores, demeans and maligns Black femininity and womanhood, it is important that Essence uplift Black women’s self-esteem and self-worth and put Black women first.” There were only two positive comments featured about the cover, one of which said, “…I think we’ve come far enough where we could applaud a functioning and healthy relationship, regardless of whether both people in love are Black.” I share the opinion of this last comment.

In the article, Lemieux comes off as bitter and narrow-minded. It’s like she’s saying, Hey white women! Are there not enough white men that you have to come after our Black men? Get your own! She shares the viewpoint of a comment she read online saying that a Black woman will only get a Black man if she is successful, when women of other races just have to not be Black to in order to get a Black man. The author says that “no matter how illogical or unreasonable it may appear, I’m not okay with Black men choosing to spend their lives with non-Black women.” She goes on to give statistics of the dating game among Black people and how Black women are good enough to do all the work that helps make Black men successful but are just not good enough for them when they are successful. She says that “in a world that still marginalizes our beauty, diminishes our presence, and tries to reinforce stereotypes about our attitudes, ability and sexuality, we should expect to find solace in the arms of our men.” I get that; I get that there is a mystery surrounding why Black men choose women of other races to be with instead of Black women. And yes, more often than not we do see Black men dating women outside of their race and it leaves less of an option for Black women who want to be with a Black man. My question is, did I miss something here? When did we revert back to the narrow-minded concept of no interracial dating? I thought this was 2010, not 1960.

I couldn’t care less about the skin color of the person I choose to end up with. So what if there are fewer Black men to date—what matters is the love between the two people (see: Our Family Wedding, March 12, 2010). The problem here is not the shortage of Black men available for Black women to be with or that Black women are not good enough for them to be with. No, the real problem here is the Black women who make the conscious decision that the men of other races are not good enough for them to be with.

P.S. Did anyone stop to notice that Kim Kardashian is Armenian??

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