Patience is a Virtue

Posted on November 2, 2009
Filed Under Do Everything Better | By Ashley Singh

With Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner, we all know what that means—family time! Family you haven’t seen since you were six, family you’ve forgotten you even had until now. There’s always that point at dinner when somebody says, “I remember you when you were this high!” and it’s taking all your strength not to say, “Oh really? I remember you when you were this tall!” My family is West Indian, and that means that I have a hundred aunts and uncles and cousins I haven’t even met yet (I don’t want to marry a Trinidadian or a Haitian for fear that I’m related to them). When I was little, we used to go to my Haitian grandparents’ house in Brooklyn for Thanksgiving. It is a Haitian custom to greet everybody with a kiss and a hug. My grandmother would take me by the elbow when I was lest expecting it and tow me around the room and I would have to kiss everybody on the cheek. So many times, I really wanted to say “No, I don’t want to kiss these people. I don’t know where their face has been!” But, of course, I didn’t, it’s not polite. Come to find out, even my Mom hated doing that. In light of my experiences, I have compiled a list for you on how to survive the holidays.

Don’t bring that new guy you’ve been dating to dinner. Even though you’ve been dating for a month now and everything is going great, just tell your family that you’re dating him. Introducing them to the family over the holidays when everyone is stressed out is just not a good idea.

Just because your Mom is giving you the third degree about anything and everything doesn’t mean you should take it out on the turkey. You’re an independent person who likes your space and you tend to keep your business to yourself. You’re close with your family but you don’t tell them every aspect of your life, so when you do Thanksgiving dinner, your Mom takes the liberty of asking you questions about every aspect of your life and it is driving you crazy! Don’t take it out on the food. We all know that it tastes really good, but it won’t feel good when you put on your skinny jeans tomorrow. Just keep telling yourself that this is only going to last for a few more days, and…

You don’t have to tell them everything. Tell them what you want to tell them. You’re a smart person; you know how to work a conversation around what you want to say and don’t want to say. Answer their questions while at the same time not answering their questions.

Remember that you won’t see them for another year. One of the benefits of having to do this ritual every year is exactly that—you only have to do it once a year. So much changes in the course of a year. People have babies, get engaged, get divorced, and the only time you find this all out is when you’re in the kitchen gossiping with aunts you haven’t seen in years and your Mom who you haven’t spoken to in months.

Bottom line: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry!

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