If These Things Actually Happened, The PreReq would Write About Them
Posted on July 11, 2008
Filed Under Scandalous! | By Lucas Kavner
- A-Rod and Madonna were seen canoodling secretly at the University of Montana’s freshman orientation events. None of the students at the University of Montana own cameras, so no pictures were taken.
- Anne Hathaway and her estranged, jail-bound ex-boyfriend were spotted cheering on the Aggies at a Texas A&M football game. “Gig ‘Em Ags!” said Hathaway, when asked for comment. Her ex-boyfriend, when asked for comment, let out a maniacal laugh and stole the reporter’s money.
- Mary Kate Olsen has told the press that she will be attending rehab at The University of Michigan. Her publicist, when questioned, said “Mary Kate just wants to have some time to herself to get over a few personal problems. And, also, to draw attention to the University of Michigan’s online textbook program.”
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were seen singing a killer a cappella version of “Ants Marching” along with the Treble in the Big City Singers at San Diego State University. Their son, Maddox, was asleep in the corner.
- Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have announced that their marriage will take place at the Long Island City Devry Campus. Devry spokesman, Jeremy Christolson, responded: “We seriously don’t understand why they’re doing this, but it’s probably because Devry offers such flexible scheduling and the convenience of studying at over 90 locations.”
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No Jake and Reese scandal? Forget it I’m never reading the Prereq again.