College-Bound Boys Have Feelings Too!
Posted on September 10, 2008
Filed Under Media, Reading List | By Ester Bloom
Heading off to college means having to buy your own beer, having to pay for your own cable, and wrestling with the pros and cons of doing laundry with fabric softener (pro: so snuggly! con: so expensive!) Surprisingly, researchers discover, this process is traumatic for young men as well as young women, though you might not know it, since while girls can’t stop yammering about it, boys can’t give voice to the pain:
While girls are raised to feel relatively comfortable expressing emotions, to get help by talking to friends, family or professionals, O’Neil said, young men learn early on that it isn’t considered strong or masculine to express fear, anxiety or other vulnerable feelings. … Troubled young men are more likely than women to drink, to act out aggressively, to fight or vandalize, O’Neil said
What does O’Neil suggest as a cure? Frats, for one, and “just as women’s centers at colleges were established, there should be men’s centers that offer safe places for them to discuss their feelings.” But be careful of how you decorate that safe place: “‘If you’ve got scented candles out there and Zen stuff all over,” he said, “the guys aren’t going to relate to that.’”
(Source: the Hartford Courant)
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